Skilled Labor-
Angel
Irlanda
It's widely thought that science
and art reside at opposite poles. Science, many argue,
with its reliance on cold, hard facts has no place in
art, where the more ethereal faculties reign...
(read more)
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Get Out of Town-
Coachella
07
Nine hours after leaving the U.S., we were enjoying
one of the Alpenland’s seasonal treats: bock beer!
Beer was invented by the ancient Egyptians, but perfected
by the Germans who have adhered to the same strict purity
law, the Reinheitsgebot, since 1516. ...
(read
more)
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Restaurant Review-
Djon's
Steak and Lobster House continues to fulfill his initial
promise of providing a fine dining paragon that breaches
the barrier separating dedicated gastronomes from curious
visitors.
(read
more)
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20 Questions-
Clammer
Bill
Clammer has been a local legend since time immemorial,
and his intimate knowledge of the Indian River comes from
seemingly having plied it since it first began to trickle.(read
more) |
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News of the Weird
Crossing
The Bar The Wisconsin Supreme Court ruled in October
that attorney Michael Inglimo did not violate a state
regulation that bars a lawyer from having sex "with
a current client",.
.(read
more)
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 Horrorscopes
by
Lance Stardancer
Get your monthly horrorscope from our own in-house astrologer
Lance Stardancer. Free!
(read
horrorscopes)
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 So
I just got a check in the mail from a friend reimbursing me,
quite kindly, for an excessive beer bill incurred during his
recent visit from out of town.
Apart from grinning at the generous amount of the check, I
couldn't help but laugh at the face of the Cat in the Hat
smiling back at me from the upper margin.
And I thought. And I thought. And then I thought some more.
And I thought, "This Cat in the Hat, what on earth's
he here for?" I'm accustomed to seeing sunsets and such
on checks that I get, but to make money Seussian makes me
fret with regret. Put him on stamps, put Horton on bottles
of goop for your hair, put the Lorax on bandaids for all that
I care. But a cat on a check? A Cat in the Hat? Great gribbling
bimpkins, what in Jehosophat's that? Dear Dr. Suess has become
an insidious brand. Why, to slap all his pimps you'd need
a giganticous hand! His work was once regarded as regal and
tender, while now it's legal tender for every lending offender.
To people the world over, the Cat in the Hat is a reality-rattling
icon of disorder and imagination run rampant. Is nothing sacred?
What's next? Limited Edition Bob Marley Hummers? Michael Collins
Stout? Karl Marx debit cards? Che Guevara guacamole chips?
"London Calling" used as a car ad jingle? What?
They did that already? Bastards.
Well, before you know it, they'll buy Candlestick Park and
call it something completely inane. What? Monster Park? What
monster?
Ah, forget it. If you can't beat 'em, join 'em, as those same
people say.
Caving, I ordered a few Cat in the Hat checks for myself last
week.
I just made the first one out to FPL for 37,419 zibberzabbers
and 5 1/2 krinkles.
Take that one to the bank.
Signed,
Marvin K. Mooney
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